Tools forgetting your marriage or relationship on track
Waiting too long to resolve negative patterns that are sabotaging your relationship is a quick way to ensure its end. Intervene early and watch your relationship return to a happy and fulfilling place. While avoidance seems safe and sometimes necessary for survival, it’s important to attempt to address the concerns as soon as possible.
Even in happy marriages and relationships, it’s not uncommon for couples to have Several chronic and serious stressors. That’s worth repeating. It’s normal and not a barrier to happiness to have Several significant concerns. What tends to be more important is the ratio of positive to negative experiences overall. For example, ask yourself: do you experience mostly positive or negative feelings when you think of your partner’s name or imagine your partner’s image? Don’t panic. Obviously, this is likely to vary given the context: when you’re celebrating versus experiencing an argument.
That’s why it’s also important not to judge yourself too harshly and that admonishment is relevant for your relationship as well. It’s easy to compare yourself to friends and family and strangers in the media, but what’s most important is your mind… your thoughts. Your collective thoughts throughout the day and over time control your own reality.
And When you stop approaching your partner with a mindset of curiosity, then you’re contributing to the downfall of the relationship. The colloquial way to say this is: taking him or her for granted. Nothing ruins intimacy more than a lack of enthusiasm and interest. People are dynamic, ever changing and when you forget that about yourself and your partner, the overall relationship satisfaction is likely to decrease.
So, remain interested and curious. Ask questions. And think about the relationship that you want and ways to enrich yourself as well as ways to enrich experiences and pleasures with your partner. After all, your thoughts create your reality. If intervening on your own isn’t helping, don’t wait too long before seeking out professional help. The number one reason why couples therapy is ineffective is because couples wait too long.
*Quick Tip: Don’t underestimate the power of loving tactile rituals for greetings and departures. The way you greet and leave your partner sets the tone for nearly every interaction… and connecting often in this pleasant way can mitigate negative feelings that emerge during arguments.