How to Solve Your Most Difficult Problem: Simply, Do “The next right thing”. Here’s how.
Have you ever argued with your partner about the same topic over and over? Or are you constantly battling a big decision in your mind or feel like you’re going in circles? Well, often it’s because the “thing” that you’re worrying yourself over is one of the B’s. Too Big or Too Broad. Break it down into reasonable parts, then select a solvable part of the issue to build your morale and get you moving in the right direction. Traction and momentum are everything. So, by pausing and being discriminating about what you’ll ponder or discuss, you’re already in the right direction.
The other piece to the two B’s is Really important. If you are posing questions to yourself (or partner) that can’t be reasonably resolved in 30 minutes or less, then you are wasting your time and worse – potentially damaging your health. Chronic stress has nasty outcomes for your physical health, so it’s time to take yourself seriously and honor yourself by honoring your time. Limit these conflicts (with Yourself and others) and honor the time that you set. I recommend no more than 30 to 45 minutes. Hint: initially you’ll push the upper limits because of habit so be hard on yourself and force yourself into linear productive communication patterns by trying to start with 30 minute time limits.
If at the end of that time, your dilemma is unresolved, then make a few notes and start at another time that is less likely to be self-destructive or render your evening or commute (or shower or whatever location you’re driving yourself crazy in) ruined.