Why you should RAGE ON! Ladies: Let 2018 be the year that you Opt for Full Blown Freak Outs. It’s Not your “CRAZY”, it’s the Key to getting to your Truth. You’re screaming… for a REASON. Basically, Tell those toxic people Goodbye… and turn chronic disappointment into F’ing Fabulousness.
Okay, that was the casual explanation. Let’s get a little clinical. Women are socializ
ed to be NICE. From the time that we are little girls, we’re told to nurture dolls, to be neither offensive nor outwardly competitive, and to generally make people feel comfortable. Nice was a badge of honor and to be seen as rude, aggressive, or masculine was terrible. Traits that society unfortunately and mistakenly assign exclusively to being“masculine” are often simply healthy ways of navigating life.
For example, confidence, strong leadership abilities, orientation toward prestige and achievement, satisfying urges unapologetically [ when tempered with maturity and integrity] can serve any adult – male or female – very well. It’s important to note that men also are unfairly socialized to be less thoughtful about emotionsbelonging to them and others. Emotions should be erased or minimized is the message that most men receive. This is unfair because they later become fathers to boys and girls and continue to promote the limited ways of how one should enact his or her gender.
We see where being nice has landed us as women. It has often robbed up of leading satisfying lives. We are always negotiating with ourselves and bargaining that living an unfulfilling life is okay. The sum of settling too often plus consistently putting the needs of others above your own equals depletion, resentment. Over time, the effects are magnified and when you look back, having checked that rage which is often your instinct to run (or make a change) that you continue to ignore, misery and shame set in. The you that you remember has been replaced with a shell that wears a smile. Because let’s remember… we have to make every one else feel comfortable. Does this sound like you?
I give you permission to stop… Pause… Reflect and consider… “what do I need”… “what do I enjoy”…. “What or who is causing me pain”… am I able to stop it and if I am… why haven’t I?”…. “why am I not as passionate about my needs as I used to be”…. Think about these questions and ask them at different times. If you’re not strong enough to confront them on your own, ask a friend or family member or seek out professional help.
You don’t have to be ashamed or regretful of the choices you’ve made. Rage is often a cover for deep sadness and disappointment. Dip down into the sadness, sit with it and search for what’s true. What’s really bothering you. Something has been screaming or trying to. Perhaps you’re having a host of odd health problems in spite of living a relatively healthy lifestyle. Well, chronic stress coupled with emotional distress is merciless and if it has not caught up to you yet. It will.
It’s necessary to make some changes in your external environment. For example, change job or end a toxic relationship. It is also necessary to make changes in your internal environment, which may include altering your mindset and/or addressing cognitive distortions. If you haven’t made the changes that you need to make, there are obvious reasons… and I’m quite sure you’ve had to make your decisions for valid reasons. I simply challenge you to find your truth even if you can’t modify your current circumstances. Truth will indeed be one of the most critical steps to setting you free. Please I recommend that you RAGE ON until you gain victory over your worse enemy imposing all these limitations: yourself.