Identity after Giving Birth

One of the swiftest and most profound shifts you will ever experience is the radical change from pregnancy to actually caring for a child.  You have officially become a different person and suddenly you are responsible for constructing a new identity and managing new lives and dynamics.  Your partner if you have one will see you differently and when you look in the mirror, it’s likely that you too will notice some changes.  Priorities and friendships are strained and some will not be maintained.  Do you crumble under the pressure or persevere?  Well, here’s to optimism.  Let’s discuss ways to celebrate and maintain your sanity even under the pressures of motherhood.  It’s a tremendous and beautiful experience but challenging as well.

Tools for survival:

Adjust your expectations:

Give yourself time to explore yourself and be open to change. Resisting your new schedule, new aesthetic, or new relationships will make it difficult to appreciate the positive aspects of motherhood.  Be prepared for changes both big and small: a new haircut may suit your face and lifestyle better and different communica

tion patterns (including social media participation) are to be expected.  Making love to your partner may be infrequent for a While and your sensitivity level is likely to change.  These are just some examples to normalize the multitude of changes that are likely to happen.

Maintain a sense of humor and Gratitude:

Taking moments of intimacy with your child and your partner and support system are Really important.  Try focusing less on organizing and any other perfectionist tendencies and more on being grounded in the present moment.  Each time you’re overwhelmed, practice admiring your child your body and allow yourself to be in awe of what you’ve created.  It takes times to heal and feel like yourself again even though society has a way of rushing you.

Set boundaries early:

If you attempt to do everything and rarely outsource for help, then that will become the norm and you will burn out Very quickly.  Assert your needs.  Accept any and all help.  I recommend keeping a reserve when you’re a new mommy. If you’re depleted, there’s nothing left when you need to endure a marathon nursing (aka cluster feeding session) or an unexpected event.